Laughter (n.) - when a smile has an orgasm.
I received the following wise advice from a dear friend from here on EP.
"In school the lessons come first and then we get the test. In life the test comes first and then we get the lesson."
What is the lesson you are learning tonight? All life lessons give us exactly what we are looking for so look for the good in this bad situation. There is something positive that will happen or may have already happened from tonights events. You just have to find it and it will take some searching. Finding the negative is easy, that is why most people go that direction. It requires very little effort. Stretch your mind and HUNT THE GOOD STUFF.
To live, To be happy,To be content.
No longer letting the depression pull me under.
Getting up when I have fallen down.
No longer letting others pull me into the mire.
Creating space, a safe place.
Not withdrawing but knowing when to walk away.
Peace and understanding.
Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions.
Focusing on my goals.
Controling my attitude.
Controling my actions and reactions.
Overcoming the anger and frustration.
Balancing the power and taking back control.
Where do I even start?
My son is 17 and is moody and arguementative at most, he does not see his Dad as a father figure and see's me as a doormat. Someone he can talk back too, someone he can mistreat and disrespect without anyone calling him on the carpet for it.
Last night, he was quite miffed that I could not buy him a new electric razor for $22. Nope sorry cannot do that right this minute, it will have to wait a few weeks. I just shelled out $22 for the USA Junior Olympic Shooting Match, need to find another $30 to pay for his annual USA Shooting dues, buy groceries, gas and figure out how to buy him shoes before he goes to Washington DC on the 15th. There are bills to pay and not enough money to go around right now.
His Dad told him he would have to talk to Clark Howard, a local financial guru who only uses ONE two blade razor a year. My son got ticked off a this because everyone's skin is different and he can't make a razor last that long. I wasn't asking him to make due with one razor but to just use the 4 blade razors I buy his dad because buying speciality razors is not in the budget.
He got pissed off and threw a square pretzel at me and hit me in the face. This is a huge no no for me, hit me anywhere else on the body, I might get mad but hit me in the face and that makes me angry. I was always taught never to hit anyone in the face because its a true sign of disrespect. The bad thing, his dad did nothing. I was so angry I threw my empty paper plate at him and went to my room to cool down.
This evening he comes to me and demands $40 to apply to a very expensive out state school. Nope can't do it, have to by groceries and gas with the little bit I have left over. It is just gonna have to wait.
I am just so tired of being his doormat and no one takes up for me. His Dad does nothing, most men would have put him through the wall or put him flat on his ass for treating me the way he did and has in the past.
I just want to run away and there are times I wish I had life insurance and could just end it all, to make him happy because then he would have freaking money to do what ever he wanted.
Okay I officially made it through a day without going to a local Starbucks for a peppermint mocha. I was close, had the opportunity and the motive(not feeling well) to drive right through that drive thru and order.
I was so tempted too because I received a reward yesterday and an email telling me if I purchased a drink every day for the next several days my "stars" would be doubled or something like that but I ignored.
Sigh...this is going to be difficult.
As I start the new year, I have decided to focus on my physical and mental health; my weight and eating habits. Over the last year I have toyed with the Paelo diet and trying to eat healthier.
I am not a morning person but one of my 2014 goals is enjoy the beauty of the morning each and every day. I have led a pretty easy life lately that has not required me to stay awake most mornings after getting my girls off to school but that will change next week. College schedules, work schedules, and dropping my girls off at school will force me to become a morning person.
What will I get out of this new change? Most importantly time to spend with my girls before they start the school day. Yes it is quite early and I do not like to wait in the carpool line, but it gives us a chance to share music we all enjoy and to hear their sweet voices as they sing along. This will help me make it through the day, making mornings more tolerable. With the time change, sunlight is starting to peek over the horizon making for some beautiful starts to my mornings. Taking a moment to apperciate those rays of light will give me warmth and a renewal to begin my day.
I sit here trying to think what do I want to accomplish in 2014? Yes, I have the usual things on my to do list like losing weight, becoming more active and eating better. But beyond that there is so much more, those are things that I should strive for all the time. This isn't going to be a New Year's resolution type of list. This is the list I refer back to, the list that I occasionaly update or rewrite.
I have a great quote I found that says "If a plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal." I think this is going to be my mantra for the next 12 months, making sure to revist my goals often and adding to them or marking them off as I achieve them.
A friend posted something on facebook today about using a jar as a device to save all of the amazing things that happen to you in a year. Like surprise gifts, accomplished goals, recording the beauty of nature, 'LOL" moments, memories worth saving, daily blessings, etc. Put them all on a small slip of paper, put them in a jar and reread them on December 31st. For me I think I would reread them more often than once in a year.
I often forget to "hunt the good stuff" as a good friend reminds quite often and this will be the year to keep hunting the good stuff!
Previous PostsWords, posted January 6th, 2014
Lessons, posted January 3rd, 2014
Living Life lessons, posted January 3rd, 2014
Teenage sons, posted January 2nd, 2014, 2 comments
Starbucks, posted January 1st, 2014, 1 comment
A Healthy me in 2014, posted December 31st, 2013, 1 comment
Early Mornings, posted December 30th, 2013, 1 comment
2014, posted December 29th, 2013
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