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angelsouth's Blog


Reflection

What I need to do, to focus on.
  • Look for answers as to which path I should pick, weigh the variables in my life, and find the balance I need.
  • Focus on what I can control.
    • Not on what I can't.
  • I can only control my attitude
    • Choose to be in control of my attitude
    • Choose to be HAPPY
  • Word hard, improve myself, and my situation.
  • It is summer, and I should be greeting each day with a smile!
  • Take care of myself.
  • Take care of my needs.
  • Always move myself forward.
  • When I put my needs first, everything else comes together.
  • When I don't put your needs first, stress, worry, frustration, and misery take over.
  • Make motivation a part of my daily life, my daily routine.
  • Stop worrying and START LIVING!
Choices
  • It is not about choices and outlooks.
  • My outlook and choice of attitude is wrong.
  • I have flipped from pursuing my goals, from being able to look at the good in my life, and not focusing on the obstacles when they appear.
  • I have given up to quickly.
  • I'm focusing on the negative.
  • I've stopped all progress because I am focusing on the obstacles.
Self-Reflection
  • Look at other people, look around me.
  • I have internalized so much I forget about everyone around me!
  • Look at their challenges, what are they facing in their lives?
    • Do they choose to be happy? Sad?
    • Do they walk swiftly, and wear a smile?
    • Look at those who have given up, and let the circumstances be their guide?
I ONLY HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE

Attitude
  • Bring the positive back into your life.
  • Log the effects of this negative path.
  • Negative choices and attitude are destructive and easy to make.
I CAN ONLY CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!

Accomplishments
  • Look at what I've accomplished on my own.
  • Whatever I want to do, I know I can do it.
  • I've achieved some great accomplishments.
  • I've taken on some great challenges.
Success
  • What does success mean to me?
  • Set Goals.
  • What motivates me?
  • What makes me happy?
  • What drives me?
  • What pushes those buttons, to make me driven?
  • What do I want out of life?
I just want to be successful and self-efficient, but this is an oxymoron because I depend on someone else to make major life decisions for me, but I realize that I need to bring my own worth, but necessarily money.

Negative
  • I gave up
  • I'm having a hard time processing things.
  • I need to let go, let someone else be in charge.
  • Feeling insecure and unsure.
  • Not really listening, I'm being resistant.
  • I want to curl up in bed, loneliness is getting the best of me.
  • Avoidance.
  • I spend my days trying to figure out how to stay away.
  • I lose myself in the gym, or just spend all day sitting in Starbucks.
  • I do not want to go home!
  • Shutting down.
  • Worried about being selfish.
  • Too hard on myself.
  • Not programmed to do things alone.
Joys
  • I successfully came up with a costume for my daughter's wax museum historical figure.
    • Last year, there were tears, and frustration because I couldn't think of how to create a historical costume without spending a lot of money. My other daughter was not too pleased, this was frustrating for both of us because I waited until the last minute because it was overwhelming and I did not have any guidance and I didn't know what direction to go to make this costume.
    • This year, I didn't let this consume me, I was able to find appropriate clothing, to satisfy the needs, and everyone was happy. Not a tear was shed, and there was no frustration.
      • Even when my daughter lost her note cards, and they had to remade, I took it in stride, took a deep breath, despite the turmoil I have let consume my life and I got it done. She was happy and I was happy.
  • Spending time with my kids, it was a simple treat on the way to the doctor, but milkshakes from Chik-fil-a seem to cure everything. My son and daughter were so complacent that they even played along when I insisted that we take the three flights of stairs up to the doctor's office and then back down.
  • I took a day off from working out yesterday to rest my body, and to recover from the massive soreness I was experiencing. Earlier in the week, I was depressed by the weather and my "life" issues and I just couldn't make myself go to the gym. I did go, Sun, Mon and Tuesday. I completed a successful leg day on Monday, and could barely walk out of the gym. I also found out I lifted over 34,000lbs last week!
    • The time at the gym allows me to focus, yes I spend a lot of time there, but it is productive to a certain degree, and it gives me structure and something to do.
  • Sunsets - I have been able to experience some beautiful sunsets this week.
  • Keeping commitments and promises to my children, without any frustration.
  • Trying to smile more, to give encouragement to others.

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Reflection, posted May 22nd, 2014

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